What Louisiana Loves: How to Get Rich in the Bayou State

I’ve decided on a new career that I know will make me rich. I’m going to be a chicken plucking, film making, sports team owning, wood pulping for export, drug testing entrepreneur! Yes, that’s the key.

Since it’s increasingly obvious the state doesn’t care for its arts, music, environment, mental health or safety, I figured I’d put my thinking cap on and ponder: What does the state really support? And, voila, I got the answer!

We’re spending $114 million buying the friendship of the movie industry, we’re putting up $50 million for a chicken plant near the Arkansas border and $20 million for a chicken freezer next to the French Quarter, we’re annually handing professional sports teams dozens of millions, we’re giving tens of millions to speed up the cutting of our mixed hardwood forests for things like wood pellets to be burned for fuel in Europe and landscape mulch, and we might put our money where the piss is by drug testing 20,000 welfare recipients.

Those are the businesses in Louisiana’s future!

On the other hand, we’re doing nothing to support music, cutting the arts, still don’t fully understand how to restore our environment, are closing and cutting mental health facilities and even have a bill ready for the upcoming session that allows guns on campuses… Hey wait, I just thought of something: bulletproof vests for teachers and students!

Hell, I almost missed a big one that could pay for my second Hummer. Yeah, it’s a great time to be in Louisiana, no foolin’…IF you know what you’re doing.


4 responses

  1. This is depressing. Someone tell J.R. Ball that priorities like these are exactly why college graduates and other free-thinking people keep leaving the state…as if he’d give up his far-right ideology for his professed desire to invigorate Louisiana’s business climate. Here’s a hint: people in the creative class don’t really give a shit about chicken plants, timber, heavy industry, or a career as a grip.

    They want better schools, proactive public safety for everyone (not just South Baton Rouge or Uptown New Orleans) and some open-mindedness from the rich moneyed class that has held the state in about 1951 with their ideals.

  2. Hey Steve,

    How’s ’bout the lott’rie. You can’t strike it rich if you don’t play the lott’rie. That’s my plan. That or a big settlement.

    Big settlement or the lott’rie. That’s the stuff.


  3. How about the demolition industry?

  4. […] course there’s no budget specifically for music; and, with the state obsessed with Hollywood, chicken plants and sports, it’s no surprise that music continues to […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: